Saturday, 26 December 2015

Food Wars

Have you ever seen a food contest? Lots of people, stuffing food down their belly in a gruesome manner. That is no way to eat. I’ve been a foodie as long as I can remember. Sandwiches and pizzas are my favourite. You can shape the recipe in way you want. Chicken, mutton, salami, paneer, vegetables, you name the item and it can be put on a bread.
A week ago, me and my friends finished our final exams and decided to have some fun. There were several plans thrown about. One that received most attention was drinking. We wanted to go to a nearby bar and drink our worries away. Vodka and whiskey were the favoured choices. Everything in the plan was thought about, budget decided and then settled. We decided to go to a bar and drink.
While we were having this conversation, our friends Karan and Saras were having a different argument all together. It was about who could eat more. It wasn’t a violent argument, but definitely had a lot of boasts.
One said, I can eat 6 chapatis in a sitting. The other one said I can eat a plate full of rice. This way, the whole argument lasted for nearly 15 minutes. Neither wanted to give in to other person’s arguments. Infact, by this time, the arguments were beginning to be quite stupid. Karan said he could eat 10 boiled eggs in a sitting. Saras said he could eat 2 litres of  milk at a time. There was no way to compare who could eat more from their arguments.
At the end, Vicky came up with a solution. Sandwiches. One veg sandwich costs Rs.20 in the bakery. So, he said that we should  buy 20 of them and then have ourselves an old fashioned eating contest. Who could eat most in 5 minutes. It seemed like a good way to test our two friends.
But one problem existed. How were we to pay for all that?
The answer came quite quickly from Saras. He suggested that we gather 10 more people, all close friends and pitch this idea to them. Each person can pay Rs.20 and using that, we would buy the sandwiches.
Surprisingly, it didn’t took us much time to come up with 10 more people willing to pay Rs.20 for some fun. Most of them were people from next wing who played football with us. It was certain that the contest would be quite fun. Also, fun would be their faces when they would be done. I’ve seen some eating contests on youtube and I gotta say, contestant’s faces always look funny when they’re done.
In the evening, I, Tarak, Anil and Vicky went to the bakery and placed an order for 20 veg. sandwiches. The people around us, along with the bakery owner gave us a surprised look. Nobody orders 20 of the same thing ever. It was definitely a record and I felt a little embarrassed with all these eyes on me. Anil and Vicky chuckled. A few people around asked us what we were gonna do with so many sandwiches. We replied we were having an eating contest. They looked surprised and amused at the same time.
In some time, our order came and we went to our corridor. We decided to have the contest in the middle on the corridor so that nobody’s room got littered. We opened up all the sandwiches and placed them on a Saras’s table which we had brought outside his room and placed in the centre of the corridor. Two chairs were placed on the opposite sides of the table where Karan and Saras sat. We called everyone who had paid. We were all eager to see this contest. It was not a matter of who would win that had driven people here. It was the fun that would come when you watch 2 people gulping down food as fast as they could, smearing some sauces on their faces.
About 5 minutes before it started, Sumit commented: “I should try it out too. I am a foodie.”
Only Sarvesh heard this comment and started to laugh loudly. When we inquired, he told us about Sumit’s statement and it made us all laugh. Sumit was the kind of guy who would have two cups of dal for lunch and one chapatti and would declare that he was full. He ate so less that sometimes he made us all wonder how he managed to stay fat.
After a good laugh that made Sumit’s face contort in a fashion that showed he was furious but trying desperately to look amused, we began the contest.
Karan and Saras, both moved their hands and mouths as fast as they could. Saras sipped water after every bite to ensure that the food went in fast. Before that contest, we had assumed that there would be some untouched sandwiches which would be shared between the group. But the way these two gobbled up the sandwiches, we started to worry that none would be left when they were finished. Vicky kept Saras’s score while Tarak did the same for Karan.
After a few quick bites, Karan stopped eating and looked up, panting and smiling. I don’t know what it was but we all started to laugh. Saras looked at people laugh but refused to stop. He kept eating, unconcerned with the surrounding and his competition. Within a few seconds, Karan went back to work. He started to stuff his mouth with two pieces of sandwich at once in a comical fashion. The tomato ketchup was on his nose, his cheeks, hands and chin. It was a comic moment, one that definitely ensured that my Rs.20 had not gone to waste.
When 5 minutes were over, Sarvesh called a stop to the contest. There was 1 untouched sandwich and 2 half eaten ones. Vicky announced that Saras’s score was 9. Tarak announced Karan’s score to be 8. At the very moment, Saras jumped us, both fists in the air and started thumping his chest like King Kong.
It was an amusing site. We all laughed. Karan accepted his defeat graciously, laughing and making jokes that his stomach was about to burst. In all the commotion, the final sandwich disappeared. We still don’t know who the sandwich thief was. So, we now call him simply sandwich thief.
Later that night, all 20 of us went drinking and eating. Except Karan and Saras, all had dinner. Since I do not like the medicine like taste of Whiskey, I had Vodka. Not all of us drank. Few just ate and had soft drinks. None of us were hammered that night, but we still behaved like drunks. We laughed and sung aloud, joking and making fun of each other, and especially the faces of our two competitors.


Friday, 11 December 2015

Somersaulting Football

How many of you like football? You see, in my college, people are crazy about it. There will often be shouting matching about which club is best or which player should win an award. I personally support a club for which I don't really need to fight a lot for: Bayern Munich. Since that club doesn't have much competition in Germany itself, i don't need to participate in screaming matches as much. But when the competitions between clubs from another country like Real Madrid or Barcelona take place, I have to enter to defend the honour of my great club . I'm just kidding. I never enter these pointless competitions. I mean, does anyone's shouting at the top of their voice that Aston Villa is the best make it the best? Ofcourse not. If that would be the case, screamers would be ruling the world.

But you see, these screaming matches are actually nothing compared to the ones we have while playing football in the hostel. In the campus, there are a three grounds available. People play football, hockey and cricket in them. I don't really like cricket as its quite dull. Only two people play actively while other just sit or stand hoping the ball would come to them. And hockey, well that's just downright scary. I mean you run half bent among people carrying wooden sticks and a ball hard enough to smash skull three times over. Just a little false move and the ball or stick could end up in any part of your body. Only the goalie is safe. With that heavy armour and padding, I bet the guy could stop an AK-47 bullet. Just kidding. See, these fields are always crowded so we play in the space provided in the hostel itself. These are a few small fields with volleyball and badminton nets present. According to the authorities, we are not supposed to play anything else in there. But who listens to them anyway? So we play football there. Nobody plays volleyball of badminton in there, which I actually find quite nice. See, in my mind, volleyball means hot girls in bikini playing on the beach. Now if I see some sweaty dudes play it, I'll have nightmare for the next few decades.

This is a narration of one of the most horrific football we ever played. By horrific, I mean a lot of shouting and curse words. So this one day, my gang except Sumit and 5 other guys from nearby corridors assembled in one of the small fields to play football. We divided into teams of 7 each and started the match. My team consisted of me, Tarak, Karan, Garv, Vicky, Shaurya and Anil. Shaurya is a guy not from our wing. I played right back. First few minutes were quite normal. No one scored any goals but several attempts were made. Then, one of the guys named Arnav charged towards the goal from my right. So, I ran to intercept him. As I came infront of him, he tried to cross me by going left. I extended my feet and caught the ball with my leg. Due to his momentum, he tripped over the ball and fell down. I kicked the ball to Karan, who was playing centre forward in our team. But then, Arnav started to shout at me. He started to say that I had committed a foul and that it was a free kick. My whole team defended my saying that he fell down tripping over the ball and it was his fault, not mine. Few players from his team joined in too. He did not take that quite well.
He said, “Fine, play with fouls. You guys don’t know anything about football.”
None of us lost our cool and we continued the game.
After about 20 minutes, we were up by 2 goals. Until now, Kartik has been their goalkeeper. But that changed now. He came in front and Saras substituted him. Now I have mentioned that Kartik is quite non-violent and peaceful. But all of that doesn't apply when he plays football. He plays defence and is extremely aggressive. It’s now that he hits people or fouls a lot. It’s his running style that scares the shit out of even the best players. He runs towards the enemy player like the mad bull runs at the matador. If I see him running towards me, I just kick the ball in general direction of my teammates. I am really scared that if he hits me, I’ll lose a few ribs.
Vicky started charging towards the opponent’s goal. Seeing him with the ball, Kartik charged at him. Now Vicky is a guy of small thin built. So I wondered in how many pieces would he break if Kartik, with is sturdy body and his mad charge hit him. I guess Vicky went through the same thought process. But he did not panic. He increased his pace and ran to meet head on with Kartik. This looked like the scene in Fast and Furious 7 where the Deckard Shaw and Dom speed their cars towards each other and then ram them. Just once thing was different in the whole scene. At the very end, Vicky moved towards the left quickly, dodging Kartik and his tackle and went ahead to score a goal. We all cheered loudly, obviously happy that we now had a 3 goal lead. But when Vicky turned towards us, his face looked like he had just escaped death. Well it was understandable. My whole team broke into a laugh.
Towards the end of the match, while we still were maintaining our 3 goal lead, Arnav charged again, this time from the left. Tarak was defending this position. He is a very good defender with a powerful kick and sturdy build. When Tarak approached him, he held out his hand, pushing Tarak away a bit so he could move smoothly from the area. But this was an obvious foul and Tarak called it. But Arnav did not agree with him and kept moving forward. The reply that he gave was, “Don’t be a wuss.”

Judging by what happened next, I don’t think Tarak took that reply well. He put out one of his legs infront of Arnav, who tripped over it and went somersaulting down on the ground. Boy was that a sight! It was hilarious and I and Karan laughed really hard. Few of us were worried he might have broken something but gladly, he hadn’t. Once he recovered from his fall, the guy got up and went ahead to hit Tarak, shouting all kinds of swear words he had learnt in his lifetime. It was no surprise that a fight would break out. But Karan and Vicky interfered at the right time, pulling Arnav and Tarak away. Arnav still kept trying to hit Tarak until two of his wing mates, Shaurya and Gautam took him away. But that did not stop the verbal wars. All kinds of insults flew from both guys. Some of them were horrible, and some were outright funny. Tarak called Arnav boiled flat blob and cry baby while Arnav shouted bloody drunk pig and wimpy moustache. While the fight was serious, I Anil Karan and Sumit couldn’t stop ourselves from laughing. He insults were hilarious. Arnav has never played with us ever since. But Gautam and Shaurya sometimes join us. We always have a good laugh remembering this game.



Sunday, 6 December 2015

The Paint War

Violence is a tricky thing. On one hand, we condone it publically. Children are punished for quarrelling with their siblings and friends and adults go to jail if they break some bones. So many laws are present which tell people: do not fight or else the consequences will be grave. People sit in their homes and watch news on wars in middle east and Africa and then say “Why the hell do people need to fight. They are all stupid in that country”.
But even when we make all these laws and rules against violence and march in protests, we actually enjoy is quite a lot. Games are made about killing people and look how great they sell. So much money is earned by their makers because people like to kill stuff or just beat the crap out of something. WWE, UFC are a few examples which show that the same people who condone violence actually love watching it.
Me and my gang had our own little violent fun a few weeks back. Test series had just completed and we were bored out of minds. We had no clue what to do. Sun was too hot and bright to play football or basketball and there was no new game on computer to enjoy. So, we started to plan an outing. Lots of options came up. Most suggestion involved going to a restaurant, eating and coming back to college. It didn’t sound appealing at all. Don’t get me wrong, the mess food here is horrible and I would love to eat out, but I needed to burn off some energy, and so did the others, except Sumit. He likes to stay in his room and study than to play football. Even I have been staying a lot indoors, but that’s mostly because we play football here like we’re waging our own war. There are fights, angry rants, and a lot of fingers go up. Also I got an injury in my foot that prevented me from playing and put a lot of fear in me about football shoes.
But by this time, I was getting agitated staying indoors. We thought of going go karting once again which Tarak liked a lot because of his love of cars. But most of us were not into it, mainly Sumit and Anil because of what had happened the last time.( Read previous post)
Just when we were thinking that there were no more good ideas, Anil came up with one: Paintball. I’ve never played it in my life but it sure seemed like fun. All of us quickly agreed to go. So we decided to bunk classes on Thursday and go. Since it was a weekday, there would be less people. I’ve always been anti-social and therefore this seemed like an impressive idea to me. Garv needed a bit of persuasion as  he prefers not to bunk classes. But after some time, he agreed too.
On Thursday morning, we took a bus at 10 a.m. in the morning. The thickly packed bus dropped us near the railway station of Secunderabad. From there, a 20 minute auto ride took us to our destination. We fit into auto in three groups. I, Sumit and Saras packed ourselves in one and other seven divided into two groups. While my auto left first, we didn’t get there earliest. We got in last. I think it’s because all three of us has a good round belly.
The Paintball studio was pretty huge. It was compound surrounded by a brick wall. We entered through a glass door and were hit in face with cool a.c. air. It was refreshing after being cooped up in an auto. We bought our ticket, which gave us one 40 minutes in the field. The open area was divided into 6 regions, surrounded by cloth and wood polls. We got field 2. When we reached the gate, we were given our guns, a body armour made of plastic, and a helmet. We were advised not to shoot each other in unguarded regions. 
We divided ourselves in groups of 5. My team included me, Anil, Tarak,Vicky and Kartik. We took the left side of the field. The field was covered with plastic obstacles like walls, plastic mountains and a few plastic bushes. The mountains were about 3 feet high and provided excellent cover.
A guy who worked in the studio stood near the gate and whistled, signalling the start of first round.
The first three rounds that lasted about 20 minutes were a lot of fun. Vicky and Anil proved to be quite good shooters. My aim was not so good. I often ended up hitting the obstacles instead of people. However, Kartik played the worst in our team. It was not because he was bad at shooting or anything. He just didn’t want to shoot people .Since the paint pellets hurt when they hit, it was against his non-violence ideology. I was kind of pissed. We had lost two rounds and the fourth round did not seem to be going too good either. Anil and Tarak were out and they still had 4 people left. I had already given up hope but then, Kartik came out with a nice idea.
I started to shoot from behind my boulder, forcing their team to hide. Only Garv was hit by my sudden attack and he was out. While everyone went to cover to avoid my rounds, Vicky started to move left, hiding behind plastic to make sure he was not seen. When I stopped firing, Kartik ran towards right. The other team saw this and shot a barrage of paint pellets but it missed Kartik. I fired again, driving their whole team behind a boulder. Vicky moved further left and ran towards their line, trying to flank them. Amazingly, they took no notice, almost forgetting that one person was not firing. As I stopped, Kartik ran again. They fired but Kartik was able to get in behind a wall and he returned fire from there. Sarvesh, Karan and Sumit; their three remaining players fired towards Kartik, thinking it was a flanking move. But this had been just a diversion. As they fired right, Vicky moved up from the left and shot all three in the back. I shouted  loudly as the plan had worked. I could not remain angry anymore at Kartik. His plan had equalized the scores.
The fifth round began with both sides exchanging fire while hiding behind. I had made up a technique by this time. I fired without seeing, just holding my head up and shooting in the general direction my friends shot at. It had been a good technique for suppressive fire but had not done any real damage. I was counting on my three hotshots: Vicky, Tarak and Anil to beat the other  team.  They all started to flank while Kartik remained with me, firing at the mountains and walls . Vicky moved from left while Tarak and Anil moved from the right. But by this time, the other team knew of this manoeuvre and they counted by flanking us. Intense firing broke out on the the flanks. Tarak was pinned behind a wall. Intense firing forced him to stay there and so Anil went to his help. He squeezed fired suppressing rounds and came behind Tarak’s wall and told him to move.  As Tarak started to move, he saw Karan getting ready to fire. Immediately, he held Anil by shoulders and moved him infront. 4 rounds hit Anil as Tarak, using him as a human shield moved behind a mountain. This pissed  off Anil and he shouted a whole lot of swear words before leaving the field.
Tarak now tried to take advantage of laughter and shot Sumit 3 times. He had left cover and was standing laughing. 2 of my rounds landed on his chest as well. Tarak now tried to shoot Sarvesh but he ducked in time. While he tried to run to another cover, he was shot by Saras and was out. I, Vicky and Kartik tried to fight back, but no more tactics were left. They were using our own tactic against us. I took the right while Vicky took the left. I was shot by Sarvesh while Saras shot Vicky a few seconds later. Kartik was given an option to surrender and he took it. This made the score 3-2 and we lost. I left a little sad but it had been a fun match. There were just two minutes remaining in our time and so we called it a day. We went to McDonald’s and had lunch. Anil was angry at Tarak the whole day. Next day however, a chocolate fudge ice cream made it up and lightened Tarak’s wallet by Rs 40.

While the violence is wrong, this had been a fun experience and can’t wait to shoot some more. 

Friday, 27 November 2015

Go-Karting-Shower

Have you ever gone go karting? Those little cars look quite harmless and fun don't they?
Well they are not fun if you go around racing while not knowing how to drive....

This is what happened when our group when go karting. Now among us, only Tarak has a driving license. Although I'm not sure he's a very good driver since he has crashed his father's car 4 times in 6 months.

We took a bus from the campus at 10 am and reached the go karting place at 11. I hate travelling these days and you know whom I blame? I blame the public transport. They are so crowded and the buses shake and make noise as if if would fall apart that very moment. 6 of us got seats in the bus, the rest stood. We exchanged seats to make sure all of us got to sit. When it was my turn to stand, I gave my seat to Sarvesh. I held a rod above my head for support and then the dance started. As the bus moved, the people started swaying like leaves in wind. I tried to stand straight but it's really hard to do so when everyone keeps swaying around you and pushes you in same direction.

On reaching the go karting place,we decided we would first go kart and then grab some lunch. It seemed like a nice plan to all of us but Anil. He had skipped breakfast and so decided to fill up on a few burgers. He went and got himself 2 Mc Aloo Tikki burgers and a coke and gobbled them up real slow. Then, we all bought our tickets and went to ride some tiny cars.

They had enough cars for all 10 of us so we got in the cars and fired up the engines while the instructor there told us how to drive them. I have heard a lot of people say driving is a very fun and relaxing activity. Pretty sure they haven't seen the traffic here in the city. No one uses the side indicators and traffic moves so slow at times that you feel you're riding a tortoise.

Well, I got a black and red coloured car and started driving as I had been taught. Tarak was driving the fastest, as expected. I'm pretty sure he finished two laps by the time most of us were done with only one. We all were having fun except two people.

Sumit was in a blue coloured car and was driving quite recklessly. I don't think he liked the idea that Tarak was so good and decided to show off. He gunned his engine ferociously and quickly overtook me, Vicky and Kartik. I was a little startled with his sudden move and shouted "Calm down pal, this ain't a racing track." But, I doubt he heard it, or even if he did, he decided it was not worth his time.

He road ahead was pretty straight and he kept accelerating. Within a few seconds, he caught up with Tarak. But as is his nature, in trying to show off, the guy forgot a turn was coming and he was too fast to make it properly. While Tarak applied his brakes and drifted the car in proper direction, Sumit finally got some sense into him and pushed the brakes and steered the car, letting go off the accelerator. At first I thought he made the drift. But then, came a loud noise of metal crashing into rubber. Sumit's car hit the tyres that were kept for protection. I think they probably saved him a few broken bones, but definitely not the wrath of the instructor who went full Rambo on him. Normally, I would feel bad for a guy who crashed, but this was too hilarious to control my laughter. People around followed my suit too. I don't think Sumit appreciated it cause he gave me his" I'll kill you" look.

But this was not the funniest incident. Some time later, Sumit got into the car and started driving. I think scolding by the instructor had its effect because he stopped driving recklessly. I had driven 5 rounds by now, which was the limit and so came out of the car and watched as Anil and Sumit, the last two completed their final round. Anil was ahead of Sumit and not matter how much Sumit tried, he couldn't overtake Anil. One could tell he was getting frustrated by the look on his face. And then he went around and did something that makes up for one of the funniest payback seen I've ever seen. Sumit hit Anil's car in the backside on the left. Because of this, Anil's car swerved and turned around in a circle. Now remember I told you Anil had stuffed burgers before? Well it turns out that reckless driving and heavy exercise don't go well if you have just eaten. All the food that had gone into his thin, shrunken belly came out with a violent force. And guess who was on the receiving end of it? All that vomit splashed right on Sumit. For a moment, everything went quite. But then the crowd around cheered. We all started to laugh and clap. Karma had definitely been a bitch. Sumit just sat there dumb faced while Anil too joined in the laughter.

Both of them then came out of the car. The authorities allowed Sumit to use the employee restroom to clean up. We got him a new shirt so he could change. But just for fun, we got him a smaller size. It looked extremely ridiculous on him, but there was nothing he could do about it. Anil cleaned his face and then we had lunch at Mc Donald. Sumit had to sit away as none of us wanted to be near him. Afterall, he smelt like vomit.

We then took a bus back to the campus and Sumit rushed to have a bath. I think he learned his lesson that day. Never try to show off.  

Sunday, 16 August 2015

It is love...... brother

This story is of my friend Saras. Now guys I have told you that he is kind of a playboy. Often, he skips dinner with us because he is out with some girl. You would think that he would have made girlfriends by now .....several of them. We also thought he would have been in love atleast once . But, this was not so. However, that fact changed towards the end of the second year. Guys, I'll narrate to you how my friend fell in love for the first time.

It was the middle of the second semester of the second year. Usually, our entire gang of 10 go to dinner together. But, one one night, Saras refused to come. So we went by ourselves to get some dinner. Now guys, dinner typically lasts 15 minutes for me. I eat quite fast. So does everyone else except our dear friend Anil. He usually fills his entire plate with food and sits for about 40 minutes eating it. Its not that he eats a lot. Karan and Saras have the appetite even greater. What makes Anil so late is that he kind of plays with his food while he eats. What is mean is, he'll take a spoon and dip it in dal. Then, he will run the spoon in circles for 4-5 turns slowly. After that, he will fill only half the spoon with dal and slowly sip it. So our entire task of dinner, which includes walking to the mess and coming back, takes about an hour.

Now on this particular day, the same routine followed and when we came back, we saw that Saras's room was locked. First we ignored it thinking he must have gone somewhere. That night, he returned at 11 pm. When we asked where he was, he told us he had some work. This would have been the end of it, but we started to notice that this was becoming a routine. Atleast 3-4 days a week, he would do this and always come back at the same time. We all started to think something was up. Obviously we thought it was some girl he was trying to woo. But the unusual part was that he always tells us if he is doing that. But on this occasion, he told us nothing. Even on repeated queries, the guy kept saying that he had some  work.

In about 2 weeks we all lost our patience. So we decided to tail him. He waited infront of the mess and kept a watch at the hostel gate. He came out about 15 minutes after we left our rooms. He then started to walk towards the girls hostel. The girls hostel in our campus is on the opposite side of the boys hostels. Its a 10 minute walk across the hockey field. They also have a mess there which is smaller that our mess and also serves much better food than ours. Seriously guys, the food in our mess sucks. Its surprising given that when same cooks make food in night canteen, its quite delicious.

So, we followed Saras to the girls hostel. There, to no one's surprise, he met a girl. This girl was thin, fair, had a nice figure and dressed quite stylishly. So, to sum it up, she was out of Saras's league. Now you see, when i say playboy, i mean he talks to a lot of girls and probably knows all the girls on campus, including the research scholars. But to this day, none if us have seen him in a relationship.

Then went in the mess and we all went in too. It was a different mess than the one in which we were registered so we had to pay and eat. Now you see, we thought we were like those cools spies in the movies, stealthy and smart. However, as it turns out, we looked like idiots. This fact was pointed out to me buy a friend who was in the same mess and saw us that day. Saras and his special lady friend talked and ate for about and hour and then went out of the mess. We stayed at the table without looking suspicious of weird thanks to Anil, who ate his dinner with the same ritual he always does.

I, Karan, Tarak and Sarvesh quickly followed Saras and his friend while others finished dinner and joined with us later. We saw them walk towards the back of the campus to a lane we call couple's lane. This place is quite aptly named. Its a dark path with trees on both sides, a footpath that is rarely used and has dim lighting. Because of these factors, couple hang out there a lot.

While we were curious to know what would happen, with few of us coming out with weird ideas, we decided it would be creepy if 9 guys go there stalking a couple. So, we went to our rooms and waited for Saras. He showed up at 11pm and we all ganged up on him. We informed him of what we did. He was quite pissed at first obviously, but then calmed down and told us that he was in love with this girl and wanted them to be a couple before telling us. We all cheered and teased him for a few days.

But about a week later, he told us that she had said to him that she likes him like a brother. Now guys, no boy wants to hear this from a girl he loves. And obviously it was hurtful to my friend. And so, the most appropriate thing to do was to console him and say that it would be better and that the next girl who would come would be nicer and would love him. But you see, we aren't appropriate people at all and neither do we have andy manners. So what did we do? We laughed hard. Infact, Sarvesh laughed so hard he ended up falling from the chair he was sitting on. And then, we laughed on that .

The amazing part is, it actually helped our friend. He started to laugh too. And then we made fun of few other things.

 

Thursday, 13 August 2015

What was in that cake ???

This story only involves only Tarak and Kartik. These two had gone to Mumbai for internship. Now these two are really an odd duo. Kartik is spiritual and would never smoke or drink. However, Tarak is completely opposite. When he wakes up, it feels as if he has an hangover, His eyes remain only half open, his posture slouchy and he gives the vibe of a guy who has never been sober his entire life.

Now these two had gotten internship in the same company. The company's name was Silph Security Solution. The company offers meal coupons worth a hundred and fifty rupees a day that can be availed in three cafeterias located nearby. The working days are Monday to Saturday. The hours were flexible to them as long as they met the deadline. I am, however not going to go into detail about their project.

This incident occurred one day before the deadline day. Kartik and Tarak had been staying in a rented flat. It wasn't very big, just one bedroom, kitchen and hall. As I mentioned Tarak frequently gets drunk, and so, one day, he brought home a packet of ready to make chocolate cake. The decision was taken that the cake will be make that night itself but some of it will be saved for partying the end of the project. Kartik and Tarak together started to make the cake. During that time, Kartik swears he only left Tarak alone with the cake mixture just once when he had gone to pee. In that very moment, stretching no more than 2 minutes, Tarak made a cake that gave us a story we shall all remember for the rest of our lives.

When the baking was done, they ate only about 1/4th of the cake that night and then went to sleep.

Next day, Kartik left late as he had overslept. Tarak had already gone ahead. It seemed a good idea to Kartik to take the cake with him to office to share with the supervisor and two other members of the team. The two members included two other boys from a college in Mumbai itself.

The day went pretty normal.They gave their final presentation and submitted the project. During the lunch hour, when Tarak had gone to wash his hands, Kartik produced the box of cake. Happily, all the team members along with the supervisor devoured most of the box before Tarak came out. On comprehending what had happened, his stoned looking face went pale. Only he knew that the cake contained something very inappropriate for the office environment.........

His shock was easily noticed but he refused to tell the reason when asked the reason of the sudden reaction. I think others would have probably thought that he didn't want to share the cake or something else. He sat down and the conversation continued. He ate only one piece of the cake. Immediately, there was no reaction. However, the catastrophe began about an hour later.  Everyone, including the supervisor began to feel dizzy and funny. They cracked weird and inappropriate jokes. One of the guys even recorded the entire incident on his cellphone...... well he thought it was a phone. According to Tarak, he was using a whiteboard duster as a video recorder.

The next day, Kartik and the other two guys realized what had happened. You see guys, Tarak had put some weed in the cake.... He wanted to get Kartik stoned. However, his planned had backfired . Now, the biggest anxiety was what was the supervisor going to do. He was to give marks to them for the project, but knowing what they had done, he probably wasn't going to give all that great marks.

They thought of calling and asking him but none of the four had the will to do it. Afterall, it had been an extremely inappropriate incident.

So, they spent the time till results came in great trepidation. I think Tarak would have reduced his anxiety emptying a few bottles of alcohol......

But, the result, when came, was a great surprise to my friends . All of them had gotten full marks.
Now , its impossible to deduce what exactly passed in the mind of the supervisor when he gave them their marks of whether he was still stoned when he entered their marks, but as long as they got good marks, that question didn't have a lot of importance.

Wednesday, 1 July 2015

The Drunken Fiasco!!

We have a resort near our campus. Its a 10 minute auto ride. About 2-3 time a semester we go there for dinner or breakfast. The breakfast is a buffet on Saturdays and Sundays and costs just Rs. 200. The food is usually continental style which is fine by me because after eating two years of mess food, I'm not really fond of eating Indian when I go out. Not all of my friends share my feelings on this matter. Sumit agrees with me but I find it to be very odd. He is quite fat even though all I see in his plate is lots of dal(pulses), curry and one roti(Indian Flatbread) at most. But the reason I feel it odd is that he never eats Indian food like Indian food. He eats it in continental style. Also whenever his mom comes over, all he eats are sandwiches and milkshakes and at home he eats a lot of pasta. Rest of our gang has already come to realise this as his staple food.

We left at 5 p.m. in the evening.The resort has pool table so we had planned to play pool for about 2 hours before going for dinner. We reached in 10 minutes and after a 10 minute walk and Rs. 40 per head tickets, we were at the table. We were 10 people so we occupied two tables. On my table were me and Kartik in one team and Sumit and Saras. The first game lasted about 20 minutes and we ended up losing. Anil, by this time was bored so he came to our table and started talking as we set the table for another game. Garv was bored too. He did not like playing pool so came near our table and started talking. We decided to divide the two players in teams so that all are involved. Anil came with us and Garv went on the other side.  To make the game more interesting, I bet Saras Rs. 50 on the game. This was a surprise for all and certainly attracted more attention to the game. Since, we were to play for a very long time, we decided to make it a 2 out of 3 win scenario. The game was more fun now due to the thrill of money, This was the first time I was gambling money. We won the first match by a very small margin. Tarak had bought a bottle of beer by that time and offered me some. I took a sip and went back to play. But before the game started, we thought it would be a long time and some snacks were needed. So we bought a few packets of chips. I, Tarak, Karan, Saras and Sumit bought one bottle of bear each while the rest took soft drinks of their choice. We ended up losing both the matches and my excitement of winning my first bet money was ruined. By the end of the game, Tarak had finished two bottles of beer while the rest of the drinkers had gulped down one.


Now we moved to dinner. We ordered rogan josh, fish tikka masala and some chicken dish. Five people in our group are vegetarian so they ordered their own green stuff. I, Tarak and Sumit decided to have some more drinks and ordered a beer each. The dinner was fun. We made fun of Sumit as usual and he passed some snide comments which nobody took seriously. By the time food arrived, I had finished half of my beer and Sumit and Tarak were staring in an empty bottle. Therefore, they ordered one bottle each. The rest of us advised against it since but neither listed to us. Tarak was already getting a little tipsy. We thought we will have to carry him. What none of us remembered at that time was that Sumit was a new drinker. He had never drunk before.

It took us about 40 minutes to consume our food while discussing about sports. Anil seemed upset because something had happened to Messi while Karan was mostly quite and looked sleepy. Main course was followed by desert. I had a slice of apple pie which was delicious but extremely overpriced. I think it costed me around Rs.250 for a slice of apple pie. All of us had desserts and then proceeded to the exit. It was 9:50 and and our campus gate closes at 10:15. So, we hurried to get an auto. Tarak and Sumit could barely stand straight. Tarak was still keeping his composure a bit. He was able to walk while Sumit had to be given support. Garv and Sarvesh were holding him by his shoulders. I was feeling a little wobbly too and just to be careful, I had Kartik by my side. He was making jokes about the three of us. By the time we got to the exit, Sumit had fallen down twice and was singing weird songs which sounded hilarious.  What I did not realize was that Garv and Karan were filming the entire episode on their cell phones. We got an auto easily and reached the campus by 10 pm. The guard at the gate asked, me, Sumit and Tarak to stand aside. We saw a bunch of other people standing there. They had all been drunk. I got scared. The news hit me like a bus. I stood their with my friends and college mates waiting to be scolded and punished.  My college is quite strict with rules and several people have been suspended for possession of drinks and cigarettes.

After the queue of incoming people was cleared and gates closed, head of security came to us and in a surprisingly calm voice said, don't make any nuisance now in the college. Then, he motioned us to go to our rooms. It was a huge relief. I and Tarak went to our rooms while supporting Sumit. It seemed like we were carrying a huge brick of steel that weighed a ton. In the room, we described the event to the rest of the gangs and they were surprised too. Then after some talking, we all went to sleep.

In the morning, we were showed the video. I and Tarak laughed a lot, especially when we say Sumit falling so much. He did not take in such a funny manner but did not make a scene. The whole event had been extremely fun and we still often recall the experience and laugh about it.